| Cheat. Lie. Intimidate. These are the true fundamentals | | | | Clarice Starling which leads Clarice to a rent a storage |
| of golf. If George W. Bush shoots a 7 on the par 5 9th | | | | facility and the car of Benjamin Raspail, a former |
| hole and his playing partner Rex W. Tillerson the CEO | | | | patient of Dr. Lecter. Hidden in the parked car is the |
| of Exxon Mobil asks the President of the United | | | | severed head in a jar of Benjamin Raspail. This was |
| States of America what he shot, George W. Bush | | | | Dr. Lecter's way of teaching his student to keep his |
| says "Put me down for a 5." George W. Bush and | | | | head still on the backswing and the downswing until |
| Rex W. Tillerson are walking down the 10th fairway at | | | | the swinging of the arms on the follow through brings |
| the Cape Arundel Golf Club in Kennebunkport Maine | | | | the head up. It's one thing to tell the average golfer to |
| surrounded by 10 heavily armed secret service agents. | | | | keep her head still. The fact is that a steady head is |
| What is Rex W. Tillerson supposed to say to George | | | | often the result of the movement of other body parts |
| Bush? "No, I'm sorry Mr. President you shot a 7 on the | | | | during the swing. Twenty thousand American men and |
| last hole, not a 5?" By the time Rex got the words out | | | | women so far have left their body parts in the sands |
| he would be gunned down into the dirt. The secret | | | | of Babylon. Butch Harmon, the former coach of Tiger |
| service agents have been given their orders in | | | | Woods recently taught Phil Mickelson that the way to |
| advance. Lets say that Rex actually pointed out the | | | | keep his head still on the backswing and cure his |
| President's error to him and lived to talk about it. | | | | overswing was to keep his right knee firm and flexed |
| President Bush would merely break into song, with the | | | | on the backswing instead of straightening it out. |
| vocally trained secret service agents as his back up | | | | Somehow Phil Mickelson won 30 PGA tournaments |
| singers singing "I beg your pardon, I never promised | | | | and 2 Masters at Augusta National straightening his |
| you a rose garden." In 1921 renowned golf course | | | | right knee on the backswing and overswinging under |
| architect Walter Travis redesigned the Cape Arundel | | | | the tutelage of his former coach Rick Smith. At least |
| Golf Course at 19 River Road, Kennebunkport, Maine, | | | | Rick Smith didn't have Phil Mickelson hacking balls |
| just down the road from the George Bush seaside | | | | endlessly out of the rough at Oakmont in preparation |
| compound. George Bush Sr. bought the beautiful home | | | | H. for the U.S. Open until lefty developed chronic carpal |
| to keep up with the Kennedys. Walter Travis said of | | | | tunnel syndrome and then sending him out to compete |
| the Cape Arundel Golf Course he designed, "A really | | | | with one arm. Christie Kerr recently won the U.S. Open |
| good golf course must abound in hazards, and good | | | | golf tournament at Pine Needles by two shots over |
| courses develop good players. Trees are non existent, | | | | Lorena Ochoa and Angela Park. After her victory on |
| as they should be, and the wind should always be an | | | | the eighteenth green Christie Kerr ran over to her new |
| ever present factor on such a course. The greens are | | | | husband Erik Stevens, jumped up on him, wrapped her |
| real beauties and will delight the soul of any real golfer." | | | | arms around his neck, and her legs around his lower |
| This assumes that the golfer has a soul. To make the | | | | body, and hung there in suspension until all thoughts of |
| course more challenging, Mr. Travis placed improvised | | | | Hale Irwin running around the green high fiving the |
| explosive devices on several of the cart paths. He | | | | gallery disappeared from the collective American |
| was a true visionary. It's amazing how golfers tie their | | | | consciousness. There are many ways to begin the |
| entire sense of self worth to the way they are hitting | | | | downswing with the lower body, most of which lead to |
| the golf ball. Robert Trent Jones designed the Shady | | | | disaster. Jack Nicklaus, the Golden Bear recommends |
| Oaks Golf Course in Fort Worth Texas, another Bush | | | | beginning the downswing by rolling the right ankle |
| family favorite. Robert Trent Jones redesigned | | | | laterally and not allowing your head to ride forward. |
| Augusta National in the late 1940's. Robert Trent Jones | | | | This is the secret to beginning the downswing properly, |
| believed that golf should be a no risk, no reward sport. | | | | as it will drop your passive hands and arms to shoulder |
| His golf courses encouraged daring play. Eminem | | | | height from where you can then rotate your left |
| wrote a song called "The Real Slim Shady" in which he | | | | forearm in a counter clockwise motion to the finish. |
| says, "We aint nothing but mammals, well some of us | | | | However, George Bush says, "When you roll your right |
| cannibals who cut other people up like cantaloupes." In | | | | ankle laterally to begin the downswing, make sure that |
| "The Silence of the Lambs", serial killer Buffalo Bill | | | | your right foot remains planted and no part of it comes |
| kidnaps and skins Kathy Martin, the daughter of Ruth | | | | off of the ground, otherwise you wil slide and come |
| Martin, the United States Senator from Tennessee. | | | | over the top, and you will shank, like I did by invading |
| The famed forensic psychiatrist and serial killer cannibal | | | | Iraq. I'm very sorry. My fellow Americans and Jesus, |
| Hannibal Lecter gives a riddle to young FBI agent | | | | please forgive me for I knew not what I was doing. |