| Cheat. Lie. Intimidate. These are the true fundamentals | | | | Clarice Starling which leads Clarice to a rent a storage |
| of golf. If George W. Bush shoots a 7 on the par 5 9th | | | | facility and the car of Benjamin Raspail, a former |
| hole and his playing partner Rex W. Tillerson the CEO | | | | patient of Dr. Lecter. Hidden in the parked car is the |
| of Exxon Mobil asks the President of the United | | | | severed head in a jar of Benjamin Raspail. This was |
| States of America what he shot, George W. Bush | | | | Dr. Lecter's way of teaching his student to keep his |
| says "Put me down for a 5." | | | | head still on the backswing and the downswing until |
| George W. Bush and Rex W. Tillerson are walking | | | | the swinging of the arms on the follow through brings |
| down the 10th fairway at the Cape Arundel Golf Club | | | | the head up. |
| in Kennebunkport Maine surrounded by 10 heavily | | | | It's one thing to tell the average golfer to keep her |
| armed secret service agents. What is Rex W. | | | | head still. The fact is that a steady head is often the |
| Tillerson supposed to say to George Bush? "No, I'm | | | | result of the movement of other body parts during the |
| sorry Mr. President you shot a 7 on the last hole, not a | | | | swing. Twenty thousand American men and women |
| 5?" By the time Rex got the words out he would be | | | | so far have left their body parts in the sands of |
| gunned down into the dirt. The secret service agents | | | | Babylon. Butch Harmon, the former coach of Tiger |
| have been given their orders in advance. Lets say that | | | | Woods recently taught Phil Mickelson that the way to |
| Rex actually pointed out the President's error to him | | | | keep his head still on the backswing and cure his |
| and lived to talk about it. President Bush would merely | | | | overswing was to keep his right knee firm and flexed |
| break into song, with the vocally trained secret service | | | | on the backswing instead of straightening it out. |
| agents as his back up singers singing "I beg your | | | | Somehow Phil Mickelson won 30 PGA tournaments |
| pardon, I never promised you a rose garden." | | | | and 2 Masters at Augusta National straightening his |
| In 1921 renowned golf course architect Walter Travis | | | | right knee on the backswing and overswinging under |
| redesigned the Cape Arundel Golf Course at 19 River | | | | the tutelage of his former coach Rick Smith. At least |
| Road, Kennebunkport, Maine, just down the road from | | | | Rick Smith didn't have Phil Mickelson hacking balls |
| the George Bush seaside compound. George Bush Sr. | | | | endlessly out of the rough at Oakmont in preparation |
| bought the beautiful home to keep up with the | | | | H. for the U.S. Open until lefty developed chronic carpal |
| Kennedys. Walter Travis said of the Cape Arundel | | | | tunnel syndrome and then sending him out to compete |
| Golf Course he designed, "A really good golf course | | | | with one arm. |
| must abound in hazards, and good courses develop | | | | Christie Kerr recently won the U.S. Open golf |
| good players. Trees are non existent, as they should | | | | tournament at Pine Needles by two shots over Lorena |
| be, and the wind should always be an ever present | | | | Ochoa and Angela Park. After her victory on the |
| factor on such a course. The greens are real beauties | | | | eighteenth green Christie Kerr ran over to her new |
| and will delight the soul of any real golfer." This | | | | husband Erik Stevens, jumped up on him, wrapped her |
| assumes that the golfer has a soul. To make the | | | | arms around his neck, and her legs around his lower |
| course more challenging, Mr. Travis placed improvised | | | | body, and hung there in suspension until all thoughts of |
| explosive devices on several of the cart paths. He | | | | Hale Irwin running around the green high fiving the |
| was a true visionary. | | | | gallery disappeared from the collective American |
| It's amazing how golfers tie their entire sense of self | | | | consciousness. There are many ways to begin the |
| worth to the way they are hitting the golf ball. Robert | | | | downswing with the lower body, most of which lead to |
| Trent Jones designed the Shady Oaks Golf Course in | | | | disaster. Jack Nicklaus, the Golden Bear recommends |
| Fort Worth Texas, another Bush family favorite. | | | | beginning the downswing by rolling the right ankle |
| Robert Trent Jones redesigned Augusta National in the | | | | laterally and not allowing your head to ride forward. |
| late 1940's. Robert Trent Jones believed that golf | | | | This is the secret to beginning the downswing properly, |
| should be a no risk, no reward sport. His golf courses | | | | as it will drop your passive hands and arms to shoulder |
| encouraged daring play. Eminem wrote a song called | | | | height from where you can then rotate your left |
| "The Real Slim Shady" in which he says, "We aint | | | | forearm in a counter clockwise motion to the finish. |
| nothing but mammals, well some of us cannibals who | | | | However, George Bush says, "When you roll your right |
| cut other people up like cantaloupes." | | | | ankle laterally to begin the downswing, make sure that |
| In "The Silence of the Lambs", serial killer Buffalo Bill | | | | your right foot remains planted and no part of it comes |
| kidnaps and skins Kathy Martin, the daughter of Ruth | | | | off of the ground, otherwise you wil slide and come |
| Martin, the United States Senator from Tennessee. | | | | over the top, and you will shank, like I did by invading |
| The famed forensic psychiatrist and serial killer cannibal | | | | Iraq. I'm very sorry. My fellow Americans and Jesus, |
| Hannibal Lecter gives a riddle to young FBI agent | | | | please forgive me for I knew not what I was doing. |